HOW TO: be a perfect Mother
Oh oops! Did you click this link thinking I was going to tell you my top 10 tips on how to become a “perfect Mum”? My bad! Because here’s the thing, I feel like I’m fucking this whole parenting thing up just as much as you do! I wake up every morning and feel like I’m preparing to go into battle, and I end most days absolutely defeated. Sometimes, I’m just trying to get through the day. Other times, I’d be happy just to get through the next 5 minutes! My kids can go from loving the shit out of me one minute, to literally losing their shit the next. (My days involve a lot of shit… both literally and metaphorically, incase you’re wondering why I keep talking about it. I can’t help myself.)
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being a mother. I’d be damned if there was anything else I was supposed to be doing with my life, because I’m the goddamn best at looking after my two kids and I honestly don’t know what else I could pour so much passion into and be so fulfilled by.
So, here are my tips on how to become the “perfect Mum”:
1. YOU DO YOU BOO!
It’s as simple as that! You do what works best for you, your kids, and your family! Don’t worry about what Jane with the perfect mum haircut at Mothers Group is doing. And who cares about Sarah on Instagram who seems to be nailing it every day. You don’t know what is going on at their house at 2am when their baby has woken up for the 13th time that hour, or at 5pm when their toddler is ditching their homemade dinner at the wall.
You are wasting your time comparing yourself to other Mothers! There are no two kids/mothers/families/situations that are the same! There is no rule book, no same guidelines that are going to fit every single person! And here’s a hint, even know-it-all Sandra from that stupid Mothers Facebook group that you joined has NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK SHES TALKING ABOUT! We’re all just making it up as we go along, hoping that something we try works for us! And praying to dear god that when we actually find something that works, its stays that way for longer than 5 minutes!
Kids are ever changing little buggers! You’ll feel like you’ve just mastered one stage of their life, and before you know it they’ve moved on to something bigger and better. For example, your little babe may have just started crawling, so you race out and baby proof the entire house. But by the time you’ve plugged every powerpoint, your little one is now standing and reaching up onto higher surfaces, and you need to baby proof all over again!
You are the perfect mother for your children! No one knows them like you do, and no one loves them like you do! Despite how many times you might get frustrated throughout the day. If you gave them toast for dinner because you were too tired to make anything else. Or if all you did was sit in front of the telly and watch their favourite cartoon. You also pushed them on the swing at the playground for half an hour, even though your arms were getting tired. And you put on their Wiggles CD in the car even though you really wanted to listen to the radio for once. You are there for all of the feeds, nappy changes, baths, cuddles and kisses. They chose you for a reason. Because you are perfect, for them!
THIS TOO SHALL PASS! Every really difficult moment, and every incredible moment. They’ll all pass, and quicker than you could ever imagine. Before you know it, it’ll all just blur into happy memories of childhood. So let it be. Let it happen.
Breathe Mama, you’re doing better than you know x